Names

The other day at the eye doctor's:

Me: Hello, I'm here for an appointment.

Lady behind the counter: What's your name?

Me: Sommermorgen.

Lady: Oh. 
{Pause} 
That's 
{even longer pause, clicks her tongue and shakes her head} 
"different". Sometimes it is good to be 
{pause so long that I could have run across the street, bought a coffee at the little coffee shop across the street, read the paper, completed a sudoku and would have still been back in time for more tongue clicking, head shaking and a deep sigh}
 "different".

Me: O- kay, Miss 
{pause in which I'm trying to read her name tag}
 LeJu'lique. Is that French?

Lady: - - - 
{doesn't say anything but gives me a look that held the potential to kill an innocent soul} 
{later charges me $80 for an eye exam that confirms I don't need glasses}
***
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I need an American name! International students from Asia get to choose one. I want one, too. I'm open for suggestions. Feel free to comment below.  

Getting a new driver's license in the South

One day, when I was still relatively new to the South, I had to get a new driver’s license. So, I went to the local DMV. Upon my arrival, I was greeted by a huge hand-written sign that read “Public display of profanity is a misdemeanor and will be prosecuted.”

“Ooookay, well then”, I thought and stepped inside where about 8 more of these signs plastered the walls. Something told me that this office often has to deal with profanity.

I was still wondering if the neon orange walls might have something to do with that, when an officer handed me the license application forms and told me– just in case I hadn’t gotten the message yet –that I am not supposed to use any profanities when filling out the forms in the waiting room.

The waiting room was a small room next door and the walls were no longer neon orange with handwritten signs on it, but instead a poster read “Stop domestic violence against women and children in the rural south”. Since I was the only customer at the DMV, there wasn't really any waiting on my part, so I just completed the forms:

No – I don’t have a middle name,
No – I am not a US citizen
No – I would not like to register to vote,
but
Yes, - I would like to donate my organs in case of a fatal accident.

Turns out that if
No - I don’t have a middle name and
No – I don’t have US citizenship and
No – I don’t register to vote Republican
then
NO - they also don’t want my organs in case of a fatal accident.

Fine! If I end up as road pizza, I’ll take my Germanic flesh and blood – or whatever might be left of it – and I’ll have it shipped back to Europe. Thank you very much!

I was still recovering from the fact that my precious gift of life for some profanity using Mississippian was denied when the officer called me to step up to the counter for some questioning and picture taking.

Seriously, is it really possible to look good in a license picture if you’ve just been asked about your height and weight? - I don’t think so.

So, there was really nothing I could do. I blame the orange walls for my skin looking purple and a couple other things in my life. When I was finally handed my license, it took a lot of willpower to suppress my urge to publicly display profanity. Suddenly, everything made sense. 

Adventures in Mississippi

Nach drei langen Jahren im Tiefen Süden, ziehe ich nun in einem Monat endlich wieder in den Mittleren Westen. Da ich am Freitag meinen letzten Arbeitstag hatte, bleibt mir neben dem Packen endlich wieder etwas Zeit zum Schreiben. Deshalb poste in den nächsten Wochen ein paar von den Abenteuern, die ich in den letzten 3 Jahren hier im Süden erlebt habe. Manche davon hatte ich auch schon mal auf Facebook gepostet. Hier ist eines meiner ersten Abenteuer:

 So, one weekend, I went shopping for the sofa of my dreams – a cranberry-red loveseat. I had not seen this sofa in real life, yet, but I already convinced myself that I could no longer live without it.

 Anyway (back to my adventure), I went to this furniture store and, of course, it didn’t take the shopkeeper very long to notice that I am not an authentic Southern Belle. So, I told her that I was from Germany which apparently makes me an Über-Yankee and not very popular with the Southern folks. Nevertheless, this shopkeeper was very eager to tell me about her neighbor who is also not from the South:

 “He speaks this foreign language… I`m not quite sure what it is… I think it`s Islam or something like that.“

 My mouth dropped open and I stared at her in disbelief.

 Her eyes narrowed into a stern expression. She quickly checked that nobody was listening in on our conversation before she leaned towards me and whispered:

“If the political situation in this country stays down” – and she quickly checked again that nobody was listening in on us - “I might end up having to learn a foreign language myself!”

 And with that she pulled herself back to an upright position, nodding her head, her firm look still focused on me.

 I left the store without buying my cranberry-red sofa.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your car.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with your car."

- That's what the mechanic at the dealership said after looking for 3 hours for the reason why my car stuttered and jumped like the Easter Bunny when I tried to drive it to the garage.

The Gastblogger is sick.

Yeah, I know, it came as a shock to me, too. We all knew it had to happen sooner or later. It was just a matter of time. We all had hoped that it wouldn't come that soon, but it did. The inescapable has finally happened:

He caught a cold.

Now all our readers will probably ask themselves: Why, oh why? Why the Gastblogger? Why did it have to happen in the prime of his life? Why now? Why him and not Nici?

But as sad as it is: It just happened.

The doctors and specialists are still searching for the cause of this sudden cold that attacked the Gastblogger without warning.
It could be his family history of colds.
It could also be his deprivation of vitamins due to a (extremely male) diet that consists of 95% meat and absolutely no fruits or vegetables.
It could also be the fact that he spent the last week searching the garbage for new/used living room furniture that other students had left on the sidewalks. All that searching and collecting must have worn him out. Plus it was raining cats and dogs....
Hmmm. A team of experts is still looking for answers to this mysterious illness.
I guess, we'll never know.

On top of this he has an upset stomach. But clearly, this is totally his own fault:
He bought a donut at a gas station.

I mean, HELLO? It's like he has learned nothing from years and years of watching the Simpsons. All the hours he spent in front of the TV instead of studying for his PhD, all the time hoping that some of the educational content of a yellow cartoon family would rub off - all for nothing. Apu and his Kwik-E-Mart: It's like they never existed.

We're all speechless. His parents made him attend the best schools in the country and abroad, his old roommate left him a TV, so that he didn't have to miss a single episode of the Simpsons and what does he do with this world of endless opportunities:
He goes out and buys a DONUT from a GAS STATION! And worst of all: HE ATE IT!!!

I know, I know, I was horrified, too, when I learned all of that. Still, we are friends and what do you do when a friend is sick: You call him and check if he needs anything:

Hi!

Uahhhha (moaning from the other end of the line)

Hey, how are you doing?

I'm sick. I am getting these hot flashes. Do you think I could be going through Menopause?

Ehm.... Probably not. You are in your mid twenties and male. I don't think it`s Menopause.

But I am all hot and sweaty.

It is 86 degrees, you are living in an upstairs apartment with no air conditioning. I would be sweating, too.

Oh. (more moaning)... Here comes Sophie, I hope she is not one of these cats that come to patients and lie on their beds just before they die.

What are you talking about? Sophie always lies down with you. Are you sure you are okay?

I'm dying. My stomach hurts and I feel dizzy.

Have you eaten anything today?

Yes, my roommates finally moved out and I ate the stuff that they had left in the fridge. Some of it must have been in there since we moved in. I found some ice cream and some of the chocolate you brought me from Germany. I totally forgot that I still had it, so I ate that.

Aha. I'm not quite sure if that was the right move when you have an upset stomach. Do you need anything else? Any cold medicine or chicken noodle soup or anything? Should I come over?

Yeah, I mean, if you want to, and if you are already coming, could you bring me a coffin?

...

So, I went over, brought him coke, ginger ale, and Badger pretzels and I think he has been feeling a little better, today.

However, I am sure he would recuperate even faster if he received some Gute- Besserungs-Wünsche from you peeps out there reading this... so even if you don´t know him in person, please leave a comment!

... hmmm, maybe I should move.

Up until last weekend, I always thought I lived in a really nice neighborhood. My apartment complex is mostly surrounded by small middle-class houses, whose owners plant flowers in their front yards and who mow the lawn every Saturday morning. Okay, there is also a bagel factory, but otherwise, everything is neat and nice.

Last weekend, there was a BBQ at my apartment complex. Usually, I don't like to go to these picnics, because there is just too much gossip going on and I don't like getting involved in stuff like that. But this time, I went.

BIG MISTAKE! Humongous mistake!

Within only 30 minutes, I was asked the following questions (I. KID. YOU. NOT.):

Do you remember when the Oldsmobile was burning in the parking lot and then the motorcycle caught fire, too?
- Hmm, I vaguely remember something burning in the parking lot....

Do you remember last summer when the silo of the bagel factory exploded and there was flour everywhere and it caught fire and we thought everything was gonna burn down?
- No, I was in Germany last summer.

Have you seen the condom sniffing dog they brought in after the girl next door had been raped?
- Someone was raped next door?????

But the question that really threw me over the edge was this one:
Say, Nici, have you noticed any changes in the gang tags on your building, lately?
- GANG TAGS???

Apparently, there have been gang tags on my building (my back door to be specific!). I thought it was just graffiti and it always disappeared within a day, because maintenance always came over right away to take a picture and to clean it up or paint it over. But appartently the signs were gang tags and just recently they changed so that the local police was notified.

Well, it seems like my building marks the border between two gang areas. That also explains why the police have been driving up and down the street lately.

Yesterday, they exchanged the locks on all the buildings in my apartment complex - even though I am not quite sure how that is going to protect me if there is a drive-by shooting. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating now. Tthese gangs are probably just some highschool gangs or something. But I think it is time to move, anyway.

And this is the reason, why I don't go to these BBQs. Maybe it is just me, but I sleep much better at night, if I don't know about condom sniffing dogs and gang tags on my back door.

It's all about me

I found this widget on Hillary's site and I just had to create my own one!

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Who would have thought that...?

you are 86% American!!!

congragulations!!! your as American as they come. you fly a flag and support our country in every thing u do. you get upset when were down and rejoice when we win

how American are you?
Take More Quizzes

I am American? Hab ich was verpasst?

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

I wish you all a nice Valentine's Day!

I am sooooo busy right now with my dissertation, but I will post more about my birthday, my new car and maybe maybe even my Valentine's date as soon as things have settled down a little.

My very own delurking week

My very own de-lurkign week will be Jan. 19th-26th, 2007.

The official de-lurkign week created by Paper Napkin takes place a week earlier, but because of Christmas break etc. mine will be a little later. So pleeeeeease de-lurk during this week and show me that I have more than just 3 readers!!!If you want to find out more about lurking and de-lurking check out this or this.

This is where I found the neat de-lurking buttons.


AUF DEUTSCH:

Vom 19.-26. Januar 2007 findet meine eigene de-lurking Woche statt oder zu Deutsch, die Ich-Zeig-Mich-Dir Woche (in der Ihr einen Kommentar auf meiner Blogseite hinterlassen sollt).

Die richtige de-lurking Woche, die von Paper Napkin erfunden wurde, findet eigentlich etwas früher statt, aber wegen den Weihnachtsferien etc. wird meine etwas später sein. Also büüüüüüütte de-lurkt alle während dieser Woche und beweist mir, dass ich mehr als nur 3 Leser habe.Falls Ihr mehr darüber erfahren wollt, was lurking und de-lurking ist, lest doch einfach dies hier oder das hier.

Christmas lights

In case you wondered, why I did not write anything during the last week or so: No, I did not fall into a sugar coma after eating too many Christmas cookies. I celebrated Christmas with my family in Germany. And this also answers what I got from the Christkindl this year: A plane ticket home - like every year. And even though, I did not write a blog entry in a while, I changed my template a little, and my entries are now sorted according to "labels" that you can find in the leftpanel. There are more changes coming up, but it is a surprise, so check it out next year.

It’s great being back home. I already caught up with some friends. It is so nice seeing them again and I really enjoy my time here. Even thought it is also a little... hm...let’s say... exhausting... living under my parents’ roof.

I love my parents dearly, but I just don’t get them. I know what you are thinking: Once you grow older, you’ll understand. But hey, I am already old! I am no longer eligible for any youth discounts and let’s face it: I remember the 80s.

Anyway... My parents came up with the great idea to save energy. I like the idea:

Let’s save energy.

Let’s save the planet.

Let’s save my parents’ retirement fond and keep the electricity bill down.

First step: Switch off the lights.

I don’t mind switching off the lights, when I leave a room. But I do mind if somebody switches off the lights when I am in the room and when it is dark outside. I was reading in a corner of the living room, someone came in and switched off the lights. If they asked at least if somebody was in the room, but their motto seems to be: If nobody protests, it’s okay.

The same spiel when I was in the bathroom minding my own business. Someone switched off the lights from the outside. I had not the slightest chance to say anything.

Well, all of this would not be too bad. I can live in the dark. Who needs light anyway. But guys, you have not seen the Christmas tree that my father ... oh pardon me... the Christkindl set up in our house. There is no doubt in my mind that my dad could compete with Chevy Chase or Tim the toolman Taylor, when it comes to Christmas lights. Every year he seems to be trying to break the world record in installing the most lights in a Christmas tree. You better avoid any direct eye contact with the Christmas tree or otherwise you might be blinded at least till New Year’s. I have serious doubts about a lower electricity bill this month.

I would love to show you a picture of our tree here, but my camera wouldn’t work with all the lights in it. Sorry.

Christkindlmarkt

Today, I meant to post a couple of pictures of the Christmas Market in Dortmund, but due to the fact that I can't handle my digital camera very well, they all turned out kinda like this:

Or like this:

And in honor of my newest readers from Canada, I even attempted to take a picture of a Canadian booth, where some guys from B.C. sold fur, but even that picture did not turn out well. In the center and over the heads of the Asian choir, you can still kinda see the Canadian flag.

Well, as you can see there were lots and lots of people from all over the world. Especially the booths that sold Glühwein were jam-packed. But still, there was a great atmosphere and I love walking over the Christmas market.

The only picture that turned out half way okay is this one. It proves that you can actually find Starbucks everywhere. And guess what, they sell the same holiday flavored lattes as they do in the States. I was flabbergasted.

Ho Ho Holiday Break

Okay, I am taking a Christmas Break from posting in German. For the next weeks, I'll only post in English, because I have the strong suspicion that during that time, most of my readers will be American. :o) Hihi.

This post is about my favorite Christmas tradition. I got the idea to write about my favorite tradition from another blog I read on a regular basis. You should go and check it out, too. It's great.

The thing I love most about Christmas is the waiting. Well, I have to admit that nowadays, for me Christmas is not about waiting at all. The weeks before Christmas are the busiest weeks of the year. I have to write papers, grade my students' work, attend some Christmas parties and all that while I am trying to solve world's biggest mystery, namely finding out what I could give my parents for Christmas. If there is one thing, I have absolutely no time for, then it is sitting down and waiting.

However, it wasn't always like this. I remember when I was a child, Christmas was all about waiting. It does not take a genius like Einstein to figure out that time is relative. Every child knows that time runs slower the closer you get to the big day. And then on Christmas eve, the hands on our kitchen clock went so slowly as if they were stuck with molasses which we had just used for baking Christmas cookies, a couple of days ago.

When you are seven years old, Christmas Eve is the longest day of your life. As every year for Christmas, I was not allowed to step into the living room, because the Christkindl was about to bring the Christmas tree and gifts. Only my Dad had the privilege to help. He locked the door behind him and hung a scarf in front of the key hole. No peeking allowed, otherwise the Christkindl wouldn't come.

So, here I was waiting. And waiting. And waiting. My mom was cleaning the house and told me to pick up my room, too. No child likes cleaning their room during the year, but on Christmas Eve it's sheer torture. You don't want to sort through Legos and crayons, while the biggest event of the year is going on in your living room! Why do parents not get that! But the Christkindl likes kids who do as they are told, so my room was never more organized than on Christmas Eve.

And then I was waiting again. And waiting and waiting. This was before we had game boys and Playstations or satelite TV. We only had 3 channels and the TV was in the living room, which was out of limits anyway. So, here I was waiting and waiting again. I was not allowed to leave the house, because it was Christmas Eve and that's a family holiday. However, we did not seem like much of a family to me that day. My father was out of sight in the forbidden living room and my mom was stressed out cleaning and cooking. For her, time seemed to run away, while I was still stuck in a timeless zone of waiting. I wanted to help, but she never let me. I was just in her way. So, I was waiting again.

In the afternoon, we went to church for the Christmas service, but our pastor was old and the service was not "child friendly". More waiting. This time on a hard church bench, not being allowed to move or speak. Listening to words I did not understand, about the evil in the world I had not seen and salvation I had no concept of. So, here I was again: Waiting.

Back at home, we would have Christmas dinner, but what child can eat when the Christkindl is right next door?! After I was scolded for not eating my veggies and my parents had argued about some spilled red wine, my Dad returned to the forbidden zone to give the Christkindl one last hand with the preparations.

So, here I was again. Waiting. This time with my mother. Waiting to hear Christkindl's bell that indicated that Christmas was here. Sitting quietly, listening, waiting. But instead of a silver bell ringing from the Christmas room, there usually was a little deep-voiced cursing coming from next door about not finding matches or something. So, my mother would get up and enter the (for me still) forbidden zone. And while the whispered arguing of my parents came to my ear, I was still waiting. Confused, but waiting. And waiting and waiting. Time was almost standing still and I was waiting.

And then out of a sudden, everything would be silent. Total silence. And suddenly the sound of a little bell. The living room door would be opened and there it would be: The Christmas Tree. With candle lights and ornaments. Sparkling and gleaming and lightening up the entire room. For this one moment, time would stand still. The waiting was over. Christmas was here. No more arguing, no more cursing, no more cleaning and cooking and veggies.

There would be peace.

This is my most favorite Christmas memory. Oh yes: There would be presents, too. But nothing would be able to compete with the moment I saw the lit-up Christmas tree for the first time each year.

Tired, exhausted, almost hibernating

I just finished working on my statistics for 9 freaking hours. 9! That is NINE hours! And the worst thing is that I am not even remotely done with it. I still need my statistician to send me the results, report them, analyse them and type everything up in clear prose.

My statistician rocks. He is sooo nice and sooo patient. While working on my data, we had the green things you can see in the picture to the right. They slightly resemble Christmas cookies, just that they do not taste like cookies at all and that I am not really sure if the green frosting was meant for human consumption. But hey, after 9 hours (did I mention NINE HOURS), I would eat anything to give me a sugar rush and help me stay awake. And since my statistician is used to staying awake for nights at a time, part of his payment includes the best my culture has to offer. Exactly: Chocolate. In case my mom reads this: Hi Mom, we need more chocolate here! Lots and lots of chocolate. Pleeeease.

I am sooo exhausted. This is what I hate about student life. I hate that there are weeks when nothing happens. Hardly anything's going on, you cannot work ahead, because there is nothing to work on. And then, out of a sudden - boom - you are sooo swamped with work that you don't even get 5 hours of sleep every night. This is one of these times.

Besides, I feel kinda emotionally exhausted. After my car died last week, I just want to hibernate for the rest of the semester. Wake me when all the trouble is over and I don't have to worry about my study anymore and when there is a car in front of my house. A car that does not break down in the middle of a huge intersection during rush hour.

The thing with my car also made me think a lot about the concept of friendship. I just can't get it out of my head no matter how hard I try. I am really blessed with many kind friends, but the concept is also cultural and once again, I feel like I am trapped between two cultures. Well, this takes another hour or two away from the five hours of sleep that I have left.

So, I'll better get to bed now and start hibernating. At least for a couple of hours...

Long time, no hear - Schon lange nichts mehr von einander gehört

For more Austrian-German podcasts by the talented bunch in the German department (...) please visit our website @

http://german.lss.wisc.edu/podcast/Andere_Lander/

Hey Leute,

unter obiger Adresse könnt ihr mich aka Birgit mal wieder hören. James und ich haben nämlich noch vor Thanksgiving unseren neuen und wie ich finde witzigsten Podcast aufgenommen. Eine richtige Soap Opera! Zuerst wird er von mir geohrfeigt und zum Schluss gibt es dann einen Versöhnungsküsschen zum Happy End(ing).
Hört doch mal rein!

Meme

I feel the urgent need to post something in English here. Since I commented on someone else's blog I experience an unexpected increase in hits on my site, but since my blog is in German, I feel bad for all these people who come here, expect something interesting and then get disappointed. However, there is not much I can write about right now, because this week is quiz week and all I am doing is correcting exams. So, I found these two old memes, made one out of them, and decided to do it in ENGLISH, because I always meant to introduce myself a little more, besides what I wrote in the blogger profile.

BTW, keep on sending in the answers to last post's quiz. I am going to wait a couple more days and then I'll post the results.

40 (really weird) facts about me

1. first name? Nici

2. were you named after anyone? no

3. piercings? 3: both ears and right ear twice

4. do you like your handwriting? Kinda. When I find the time to write neatly, but I wish I could do this nice American cursive script.

5. ever been to Africa? no

6. do you have a journal? Yes, I do, but I don't really write a lot into it. I have this blog, though.

7. ever been toilet papering? Up until four years ago I did not even know what that is. (crazy American customs!!!)

8. do you still have your tonsils? Yes, and also everything else I was born with.

9. would you bungee jump? No. Never. Under no circumstances whatsoever. But I would love to try paragliding.

10. what is your favorite cereal? Oh, what's its name? Something like Maple Walnut Crunch from Post.

11. loved someone so much it made you cry? I am a girl. I think this answers the question. It’s not me, it’s my hormones.

12. do you think you are strong? Yes very! But people don't seem to notice that.

13. favorite ice cream flavor? One Sweet Whirled from Ben and Jerry's. I love coffee ice cream with chocolate chips, too. Or Vanilla - I like to keep it simple sometimes.

14. shoe size? 38 or 5 1/2

15. been in a car accident? twice (I don’t know why these trucks didn’t see my red Fiesta.)

16. favorite flower? The flower does not matter. What matters is who gives it to you. (However, I hate carnations.)

17. last thing you ate? half a bagel for breakfast

18. what are you listening to right now? Dave Matthews

19. if you were a crayon, what color would you be? Raspberry

20. favorite smell? Eternity. That's a parfume that reminds me of home.

21. who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mother.

22. the first thing you notice about people you are attracted to? The EYES, definitely the eyes.

23. favorite drink? Chai Tea Latte in Winter or some flavored coffee. In summer, I love diet Mountain Dew - yes, it's not good for you, but that was not the question. I am already americanized.

24. eye color? dark DARK brown.

25. do you wear contacts? No and I never have. I've got perfect eye sight and that's the one and only thing that is perfect about me.

26. favorite food? I love Musamun from the Thai place across the street, I really like all kinds of salads and I cannot live without chocolate. It's physically impossible for me to live without chocolate, because my brain does not work without chocolate.

27. scary movies or happy endings? Definitely happy endings. I hate scary movies with a passion.

28. hugs or kisses? Hugs and lots and lots of them. However, I am really picky about who is allowed to hug me. I only let people hug me that really mean something to me.

29. favorite dessert? ice cream or Weincreme

30. what books are you reading? Currently everything on motivation I can get my hands on. Everything I am reading right now is about motivation, learner identity or strategy use. The last non-academic book I read was "Die fuenf Sprachen der Liebe".

31. what's on your mouse pad? nothing. I don't have a mouse.

32. what did you watch last night on tv? a report about a gay couple who tried to find a surrogate mother. Very interesting.

33. which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Probably a good bookstore (Poertgen und Herder in Münster, Mayersche Buchhandlung in DO or any good American bookstore)

34. what do you do most often when you are bored? Bored - what’s that? I am in grad school.

35. favorite sounds? Friends calling me on the phone.

36. what's your special talent? Making people smile just by looking at them.

37. lake, ocean or river? Ocean

38. how many tattoos do you have? 0

39. what is your favorite color? Blue or as I call it: Pö-lau

40. favorite day of the week? saturday mornings, reading in bed before getting up and starting the day