The Gastblogger is sick.

Yeah, I know, it came as a shock to me, too. We all knew it had to happen sooner or later. It was just a matter of time. We all had hoped that it wouldn't come that soon, but it did. The inescapable has finally happened:

He caught a cold.

Now all our readers will probably ask themselves: Why, oh why? Why the Gastblogger? Why did it have to happen in the prime of his life? Why now? Why him and not Nici?

But as sad as it is: It just happened.

The doctors and specialists are still searching for the cause of this sudden cold that attacked the Gastblogger without warning.
It could be his family history of colds.
It could also be his deprivation of vitamins due to a (extremely male) diet that consists of 95% meat and absolutely no fruits or vegetables.
It could also be the fact that he spent the last week searching the garbage for new/used living room furniture that other students had left on the sidewalks. All that searching and collecting must have worn him out. Plus it was raining cats and dogs....
Hmmm. A team of experts is still looking for answers to this mysterious illness.
I guess, we'll never know.

On top of this he has an upset stomach. But clearly, this is totally his own fault:
He bought a donut at a gas station.

I mean, HELLO? It's like he has learned nothing from years and years of watching the Simpsons. All the hours he spent in front of the TV instead of studying for his PhD, all the time hoping that some of the educational content of a yellow cartoon family would rub off - all for nothing. Apu and his Kwik-E-Mart: It's like they never existed.

We're all speechless. His parents made him attend the best schools in the country and abroad, his old roommate left him a TV, so that he didn't have to miss a single episode of the Simpsons and what does he do with this world of endless opportunities:
He goes out and buys a DONUT from a GAS STATION! And worst of all: HE ATE IT!!!

I know, I know, I was horrified, too, when I learned all of that. Still, we are friends and what do you do when a friend is sick: You call him and check if he needs anything:

Hi!

Uahhhha (moaning from the other end of the line)

Hey, how are you doing?

I'm sick. I am getting these hot flashes. Do you think I could be going through Menopause?

Ehm.... Probably not. You are in your mid twenties and male. I don't think it`s Menopause.

But I am all hot and sweaty.

It is 86 degrees, you are living in an upstairs apartment with no air conditioning. I would be sweating, too.

Oh. (more moaning)... Here comes Sophie, I hope she is not one of these cats that come to patients and lie on their beds just before they die.

What are you talking about? Sophie always lies down with you. Are you sure you are okay?

I'm dying. My stomach hurts and I feel dizzy.

Have you eaten anything today?

Yes, my roommates finally moved out and I ate the stuff that they had left in the fridge. Some of it must have been in there since we moved in. I found some ice cream and some of the chocolate you brought me from Germany. I totally forgot that I still had it, so I ate that.

Aha. I'm not quite sure if that was the right move when you have an upset stomach. Do you need anything else? Any cold medicine or chicken noodle soup or anything? Should I come over?

Yeah, I mean, if you want to, and if you are already coming, could you bring me a coffin?

...

So, I went over, brought him coke, ginger ale, and Badger pretzels and I think he has been feeling a little better, today.

However, I am sure he would recuperate even faster if he received some Gute- Besserungs-Wünsche from you peeps out there reading this... so even if you don´t know him in person, please leave a comment!